Thursday, July 23, 2009

Spreading the Love~ Experiences

I have the best neighbor in the world! She has 4 boys! I can't even imagine the energy she would need to have, to do all she does! The other day this amazing woman stopped by my house and asked if my 3 year old could come over for a playdate. . . I have never done a playdate where my kid went to someone else's house to play while I stayed home. . . It was heavenly!

Well I had 2 free hours, so my baby sister and I watched The Notebook while I tatted this beaded heart

(This is the Peacock Heart with beads added to each of the picots. I dropped a couple picots because I thought with the beads it would look too bulky)(I realize there are stains on the heart, note: tatting and tea don't mix. I guess I had to learn the hard way, why Grandma always kept her yarn wrapped in a clean dishtowel while she worked on a project. To keep it clean!)

As we were watching The Notebook I felt it necessary to explain to my sister that when elderly people get dementia, the nurses don't actually keep their family from them. . . And the families DO NOT introduce themselves as other people. (The one problem I have with this movie!)

I think the most tear-jerking part of this movie is when she finally remembers that he is her husband. . . then they have those few minutes together. . . Then she doesn't recognize him and starts screaming for help. It makes me cry every time I see it. This time I couldn't help but think of something that happened just the other day. . .

Right now I work in an Adult Family Home and I care for 4 women who all have dementia. One woman has Alzheimer's, and her care is difficult. Her husband comes to see her often, but has a really hard time seeing what she is going through, and dealing with her inability to remember him and the life they shared.

The other day while he was visiting, he asked her what her name was. She responded with her correct first name and her maiden name. He came to where I was working and told me about this. His eyes were filled with tears as he said "She doesn't remember her married name."

While I care for his wife, she talks to him and about him constantly. Often saying "I love you, Johnnie" So I know she remembers him.

I was tatting this heart while I watched the movie and thought of this. I decided that instead of giving this heart to a stranger I would give this to him. Because I wanted to remind him that even though his wife doesn't remember her name, she does Love him.


  1. Awww...that is sweet of you to give that heart to Johnnie so he can remember that his beloved wife does think of him often. It's a beautiful heart and you did a lovely job!

    Actually, I think there are a few people that would beg to differ with you on the "tatting and tea don't mix" Ishdihara has a "Tatting Tea Tuesday" every Monday...or is it Wednesday...Thursday??? Oh, I always forget what day it is, LOL! ;)

    Anyway, haven't you ever heard of tea dye! It's not a stain! You were "antique-ing" it! LOL! ;)

  2. Sorry, it's "Isdihara" not ISHdihara! ISH!

  3. This is a wonderful post. I know he will treasure your thoughtful gift.

  4. I love your heart. The beads make it so pretty.

  5. I just bought that DVD yesterday. You did a lovely job with the peacock heart, I have just been tatting it too.
    That's a lovely gesture, it will mean a lot to him.

  6. So sad when a loved one can't remember family memebers anymore!

    Your heart is lovely! I mean that in two ways!!

    Have a great weekend!!

  7. Beautiful heart - the beads add so much to it. I especially like the cascade of beads off the bottom. It is so nice of you to give it to that gentleman. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to watch someone you love slip away.

  8. I just listened to the audio version of the book a few weeks ago.

    I think it would be especially meaningful for her husband to know she has some awareness of him.

    I have yet to tat the peacock heart although when I was sorting & cleaning I found probably half a dozen printouts, so it's clearly on my to-do list!

  9. Beautiful heart, beautiful tatting and beautiful gesture....

  10. I think that is a lovely gesture.... that poor man must be so heartbroken .... but as you said ...she talks about him to him so she does remember

    I also believe that The Notebook is very much about how strong their love was ... strong enough for her to remember if even for a brief moment and strong enough for them to pass on together........ To me its more about the love story than about her not dementia....

    LOVE your heart.... I do believe that man will cherish it .... its very pretty


  11. That should read about her dementia ... the word ....NOT should not be in there